Cyber Hobo

I need to take a moment to tell you all about a sad, sad state of affairs that is prevalent in our country at the moment.

Yes, it’s a very serious problem and I would thank you all to listen carefully.

We, that is South Africa, have a sad lack of Girl Gamers. Granted, the gaming community in South Africa is not quite as large as it is in the US, but then, South Africa itself is not as large as the US. But still! Damnit, I can count the number of South African gamer girls I’ve met on the hand of a blind butcher!

Enough is enough I say! We need more female gamers in this country! We are seriously in need of fun, interesting women to brighten our lives! For my money there is nothing nicer in the entire world than a gamer girl. A vested interest in those wonderful things called video games, a little couch chub from sitting in front of the PC or Computer for hours, a general lack of interest in things like clothes or cleaning up, no constant pestering to go out to noisy clubs or parties, more than two braincells to rub together, usually an interest in other geeky things as well, like anime and comics.

Another thing, gamers in general are usually a helluva lot more sexually liberated then other people, more kinks in this club than you can shake a rooster at.

Also, girl gamers are generally more willing to put on a gold bikini and call you Han than other girls… *Coughs*

I’ve gotten off track again.

Girl Gamers are awesome I say, the most amazing type of girl out there, but, and I say this with a tear in my eye, almost completely unheard of in this boerewors and rugby mad country (Because there’s nothing more interesting than watching a bunch of sweaty men groping each other over a ball, you barbarians)

On the topic of sports in general, I think that most, if not all, sports could be improved with the simple addition of allowing the players to carry weapons. Just imagine it, some groaning, sweaty mountain of muscle dashes across a field with a ball under his arm… only to have his legs hacked off at the knees by an opposing player with a claymore. I would watch that game. Maybe we could make convicted murderers play it… Damn, I need to send some of these ideas to the government…

And once again I went off track… where was I?

Oh, right, Girl Gamers! Please, please, all you ladies out there, consider getting out of those high heals, into some sweat pants and onto a couch sometimes. Play some games! Stop worrying about your looks so much! I, for one, am much more attracted to a woman that can kick my arse in mortal combat than a woman with perfect skin and hair. Yeah, that’s right, all you women out there that complain about guys only caring about your looks, try dating a gamer sometime, they’ll care about you much more if your WoW character is a raid geared priest… *Coughs*

I digress, again…

Ah, fuck it, words fail me at this point. I’m just ranting impotently about the lack of cool girls like these in the country.

Post over.